In the YES: A Journey of Self-Love and Divine Being with Kimberly Braun

Kimberly Braun, M.A., Minister, Author, Speaker, former Carmelite Nun, and mystic adventurer, shares her journey of discovering the essence of life as a love affair and the importance of being and becoming in the divine. She emphasizes the need to say yes to the fullness of life and to listen to our inner voice. Kimberly discusses her experience of building a monastery and how saying yes to the unknown led her to take on various roles in the project. She also highlights the role of self-love in saying yes and staying in the yes.

Takeaways

Life is a love affair, and there is a quality of being alive that is being and becoming in the divine.
Saying yes to the fullness of life is part of our essential nature to create and generate.
Self-love plays a crucial role in saying yes and staying in the yes.
Saying yes to the unknown can lead to unexpected opportunities and personal growth.
Listening to our inner voice and being open to the wisdom within ourselves is essential in discovering our true path.

Quotes:

"Life is a love affair, where every yes leads you closer to the divine." - Kimberly Braun

"The voice within us is a compass, guiding us through the wilderness of life, leading us to our true selves." - Kimberly Braun

"Self-love is saying YES to yourself, and when you're in the YES, the world opens up to you." - Kimberly Braun

Sound Bites

"All of life is a love affair and there is a quality of being alive that is being and becoming in the divine."
"At our very center, we are the pulsing of the divine, saying yes to the fullness of life."
"Staying in your yes allows what you need to come available to you."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Kimberly's Journey
03:06 Saying Yes to the Fullness of Life
07:49 The Role of Self-Love in Saying Yes
28:06 Listening to the Wisdom Within: Discovering Our True Path

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Transcript

Michelle Margaret Marques (00:00.536)
Welcome again to the Bloody Hell Chelle podcast and I gotta tell you yes, I know I'm saying it I say every time I have an incredible guest today and I am absolutely Excited like beyond excited Kimberly Braun is joining me today and boy you are in for an incredible lesson I I promise absolutely Kimberly. Can you please introduce yourself to my incredible listeners?

Kimberly (00:29.166)
Yes, and it's great to be with you Michelle and great to be with all of you who are friends and followers and fellow investigators of life that are part of this podcast audience so Mmm, it's so fun to be asked to talk about yourself Because there are so many different things that we can say and as we get older and older There's even so many different

elements of our life that are really important. And I would say for myself, one thing that has remained constantly very important since I was really little is the experience that all of life is a love affair and that there is a quality of being alive that is being and becoming in the divine, in consciousness, in wholeness, in love, in God.

I could use so many words interchangeably. And having had that experience when I was a little girl has left me feeling that this life is really an adventure and a discovery. It doesn't mean that there haven't been times that I've been really scared or gone through a tremendous amount of challenge in dark night, but it's all been within that view. So that's largely who I am is a mystic adventurer. I'm someone who...

is continuing to be on the edge of my own truth and learning. Someone who believes that my whole existence here is to embody this eternal source and to be a friend that others remember that they are that as well. So I was a monastic nun, which let me really explore the many dimensions of being.

living in silence and chanting through the day. I'm an ordained minister and my seminary training was amazing. It was a golden age where we were able to form our program. So I let myself focus on what it means to have a spiritual journey as an adult. What does it mean psychologically and spiritually and sociologically? And then for the past 24 years, I've been leading retreats. I'm brought into places to give.

Kimberly (02:49.227)
hopefully an inspiring message. I write books and I really open myself in a new way each day to discover the presence that exists in all things.

Michelle Margaret Marques (03:05.176)
that is so beautiful. Thank you for that. You see why I like to let people introduce themselves? Because I can't introduce you like that. thank you so much, Kimberly.

Kimberly (03:11.434)
Hehehehe.

Hehehehehe

Michelle Margaret Marques (03:19.608)
I want to ask you this question and you've had a fascinating life and I really honestly I'm so looking forward to this conversation. I wanted to ask you what is the one thing that you wish you had known way back, whenever, however far back that you know now that you have learned your biggest lessons from and that you can share with the audience?

Kimberly (03:50.057)
So there's two answers to that. It's a really great question. Since I don't find a lot of security in the linear way of growing, it's got a layer to it. So the key experiences I had when I was little that still influence me today, even though I was awakened into them very clearly that all life is being and becoming in God. So,

Even though that happened and it gave my heart tremendous consolation and it gave me a mind a direction to focus in and it gave me an understanding of the world that is still very exciting. So even though that happened the discovery of what that actually means reaching into all the different life experiences that is been a growing learning.

there have been moments in my life that I probably would have relaxed into some of the challenges and loss with greater confidence had I been more deeply rooted in that insight that everything is being and becoming with God, that it's the essence of who and what I am. But I don't regret that because what seemed like the gap of

having the stress around the loss or the dark night allowed me to discover what that means even in a new way. And I'll give you an example from a mystic from Spain. So there's this mystic, Teresa of Avila, whom I love, who many people know. And even though she was Catholic, she's one of these mystics that people love in all traditions because she was so transcendent to her lineage.

Michelle Margaret Marques (05:30.2)
Yes.

Kimberly (05:46.694)
And she started in her 40s having these overwhelmingly dramatic mystical experiences by locations and visions and being taken up in ecstasy for hours and all sorts of things. Even though she was experiencing that degree of consolation in her life, she was still afraid of losing God.

And she's such a great example that even when we have great inspiration in our lives, it doesn't mean that we awaken into the breadth of that inspiration completely in the moment. So it took her another 22 years before she had the experience. And she says it, it's in her 60s, she said, now I know that I can never be out of the embrace of God.

She knew it in every cell. She knew it in all her heart. So I would say that if I were to look back, that in some of those really dark moments, it would have been nice to have been more whole and healed so that it didn't cause me so much suffering. But that's also part of the beauty of the wisdom process. So it's a great question. Thanks for watching.

Michelle Margaret Marques (07:03.224)
Yeah. Thank you for that beautiful answer. my goodness. love that. I want to ask you something that I'm just so excited to ask. I want to ask, I was listening to your Ted talk and I actually listened to it again this morning before.

Kimberly (07:20.933)
Wow.

Michelle Margaret Marques (07:22.232)
prior to this recording. I have to say it brought me to tears. They really, really moved me. It was so beautiful. I wanted to touch on the concept that you were talking about, your yes. And I wanted to ask you about the advice that you would give to everyone listening about their own yes and how they can find that insight.

Kimberly (07:49.797)
Right, and it's one of the questions. So you're asking a question that in one way, there's a simple answer. Because we're, this is me, so this is, whenever I give my experience and what I would say is my wisdom from that experience, I also encourage everyone to not take what I say as true, but let it be a way of asking yourself,

Is that true for me? And if so, wow, how can I learn more from that?

My wisdom is at our very center, we are the posting of the divine at our very center, like our makeup, what we are is opposing. Yes to the fullness of life. And that yes is incredibly creative and generative. It's part of our essential nature to create and generate. And that's our signature. That's our contribution in the world.

And it's not about assessing our gifts or analyzing or looking at the world's standards and figuring out where we fit. It's the courageous hero's journey for each one of us to go inward and to ask and then to listen.

and say yes to what we hear. Now so that's a very simple answer and one that we can all take home and say, okay, how can I do that? On the more complex level, the way we get in touch with ourselves, because that's what I believe we're talking about here, the way we get in touch with that part of ourselves is unique for each one of us because our constitution is different. However, I will say that

Kimberly (09:43.045)
Working with our perspectives, I find to be most valuable. For instance, we have many perspectives that limit us, that lay understandings of we need to create value or create worth, that it's not inherent to what we are. And we make our lives complicated by that. Dismantling those perspectives that limit us and coming into contact with the raw nature of who and what we are.

will allow ourselves to think clearly and see things for what they are. I've been teaching meditation for 24 years and forms of meditation. And I think that that's a very valuable and integral tool because it helps us come into the present moment where we find ourselves fully in the moment. So.

That would be my advice on the theoretical level to entertain the possibility that your yes is pulsing the existence of who you are. And on the practical level, developing the perspectives and the practices that let you get into touch with that. So not focusing on the outcome of what you're going to do, focusing on the who you are piece so that what you do comes from that.

Michelle Margaret Marques (11:06.808)
And of course, as an identity chef coach, I completely and utterly agree with, you know, stepping into that, that piece of you, that that wholeness of who you actually were always born and meant to be, right? You were always born as this individual that you have inside of you.

Kimberly (11:29.541)
Nah, I love you.

Michelle Margaret Marques (11:30.016)
Kimberly, you have done some absolute incredible things in your lifetime so far. And I'm sure that you have lots and lots of incredible things still left to do. I really wanted to touch on, you know, when you did do your talk, you talked about the monastery that you had helped.

create and effectively almost built yourself single -handedly. No, I'm just saying. But you certainly had a really big role to play in that. And I know that you talked about coming from the silence to your yes. So, and I know that you discovered that you had that inside of you.

Kimberly (11:57.534)
Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (12:17.048)
Can you just tell the audience a little bit about how that manifested and how you were able to deal with that project, the kind of project I'm assuming you've never dealt with before, right?

Kimberly (12:29.789)
Right, yes, I ended up being the general contractor, one of the designers, and through my voice, one of the principal fundraisers of the project coming about. Now, I worked with hundreds and hundreds of people, so I definitely could not do it alone, but you're right, I found myself as the center point of the project. And I was only 29 years old when I said yes. And that yes didn't come about in the normal, traditional sense.

And I had never, I had not gone to architecture school, I had not gone to business school, I entered the monastery when I was 24, I had been living in silence and off the land. So in one way you could look at that and say, wow, I was not equipped at all. But in another way, I was equipped in the best way possible because I was free enough to give a big yes into the unknown. And what limits us from saying yes a lot of times is our fear of the unknown.

or our worry or our anxiety. And I was like a child. I was like, sure, why not? You know, the whole world is possible. So my inner disposition left me there. But that being said, I did step into a very practical role. And you know, I'm not sure when I sent you, but this book I just published, Miracles in the Naked Light, it's the first half of the monastery story. When I said yes, I...

I said yes over and over again, not quite sure what I was saying yes to. So when I said yes to building the permanent monastery, and I know if you're listening, you can relate to this. This, this monastery story is the model for all of us. I am sure at an inspired moment, you gave a big yes because you felt the rightness of it. And if you looked back at that, yes, you can probably say, I had no idea what I was saying. Yes.

That took me on a journey I had no idea was going to happen. I ended up moving, I ended up changing careers, I ended up having five kids, whatever it might have been. And it was the same here. And what happened is after I gave that yes, naturally I found myself in the position where I was the spokesperson for the community around it. And I didn't seek that out. I wasn't in the role in the community. I was not the leader of the community, which normally that would have been the leader role.

Kimberly (14:56.09)
to be the voice. The fortunate thing is the leader was very open to me speaking about it. So it was amicable and easy. And as I spoke, people were inspired to get involved. So it was literally the dance. So you step into the unknown, you imagine, I'll use the story of the monastery as a way to shine a light for us all. I knew we were going to need help in the design.

So I started making phone calls to inquire who could work with us on the design part. And as I spoke, I was only speaking to the vision of it. I wasn't speaking with architectural prints already made or because we had community discussions and we had nailed down details. I was not on the practical realm. I was on the visionary realm. And when I spoke, all the right people said, wow, I'll donate my time.

as an architect to develop the concept. And then what happened from there is I didn't know I would then be involved in that dialogue because I'm not an architect. But what happened is as the energy connected, then I was invited into that process. And then I met it where it was. I learned everything I needed to learn. Not through a lot of book study. It was just an infusion of being like a sponge. Like when you're a little kid and you just learn everything around you.

That's how that worked. But that happened on every level. And then I started having to manage all the conversations. I found I could remember them all without writing them down. I could remember the phone numbers. And then I needed to start talking with possible general contractors who then said, you should be the general contractor. And I understood the reasoning with that. And I said, yes. Then I needed to start talking with an engineer for electrical and plumbing.

And as we talked about it, something in me rose into the conversation. So I found myself naturally not being, I don't get it, why don't you just take it over? I found myself having the capacity, the aptitude, because I made myself available for it. So it was like a step by step, and that's how I found myself revealed to be in the center point of the project. And if we stay in our yes,

Kimberly (17:22.198)
in anything in our lives and we keep solid. You saw in the video I said you have to stay in your yes, which can be a lot harder, right? Yes. Yes. So staying.

Michelle Margaret Marques (17:31.704)
And I completely agree with that. my gosh, like, seriously. It's almost like you have to say yes every single day, right? You have to keep saying yes over and over again.

Kimberly (17:44.533)
that's you, you just said it perfectly, right? And then when we do that, what we need comes available to us. And at times the availability will be in the form of people. And at other times it'll be the availability in the form of supplies. And another times it'll be the availability of your mind, knowing what it needs to know to act on it, or your heart knowing what it needs to know to open up into it. So we can't...

We're called, I should say we can't, we're called to recognize that the skills are within and without, always at the same time.

Michelle Margaret Marques (18:24.152)
Mm, I love that.

I absolutely love that. I'll add a little story of my own and the reason why your talk and your philosophy actually brought me to tears. I have a very profound experience of saying yes to my own yes in the unknown. About five and a half years ago, February 2015, I actually left the UK with my then, she would have been seven,

Kimberly (18:30.709)
Cool.

Michelle Margaret Marques (18:55.834)
and a half years of age and I left with four suitcases and the yes that I said yes to was four weeks prior to that.

I knew that I needed to make a bold decision in my life. I needed to make some kind of bold move in my life. I just knew I felt it. And I decided that exactly four weeks from the day that I made my decision, I was leaving the UK.

and I set about sold all my possessions, gave things away to charity, gave things to friends, whatever, got rid of my car, got rid of my house, everything within that four weeks time scale. And exactly four weeks later on Valentine's Day, myself and my daughter left the UK with four suitcases. I really stepped into the unknown. We traveled in New York for three months. We traveled in Canada for five months and then moved here to where I live.

Kimberly (19:46.867)
now.

Michelle Margaret Marques (19:56.074)
I live now in Barbados. And for almost five years now, I have lived in Barbados and I have built my life back up and created the business that I now have created my clients and you know, I now have an absolute beautiful life here. And...

Kimberly (20:15.698)
Wow.

Michelle Margaret Marques (20:18.424)
About seven or eight months ago, I stepped into another unknown. I trained and let go of my business in the UK when I left. So let me add that part and stepped in to be in a full time coach.

And as I traveled through New York and Canada and whatever, I built my clients up and, you know, made an income as I was going. And then eight months ago, I was asked to say yes to another something that was unknown to me that I've never done before. And I was asked by an investment bank in the United Kingdom to refer people to them for investment in their businesses. And I worked with female founders.

Kimberly (20:58.29)
Wow.

Michelle Margaret Marques (21:00.17)
So I've never ever worked in the financial industry before. I never knew anything about, well not very much about investment banking. I certainly didn't know an awful lot about how these investment deals and alternative funding and all these equity deals that we do and bridging loans and whatever else that I deal with now.

Kimberly (21:00.977)
Wow.

Kimberly (21:10.129)
Wow.

Michelle Margaret Marques (21:26.104)
So I said yes to that opportunity, not knowing how I was going to do it at all. But I now am very pleased that in a very short amount of time, I now help female founders get the money that they deserve and the investments that they deserve for the projects and the dreams that they want to build. Yes. So.

Kimberly (21:42.001)
Wow.

Kimberly (21:48.336)
Amen. Amen. I loved, you know, and I thank you so much for sharing that story because when I looked at your website, when we were introduced and I looked, I was like, this is fascinating. Now knowing the backstory of how you gave your yes, way to go, Michelle. That is so awesome.

Michelle Margaret Marques (22:06.552)
Thank you. Now you understand why when I heard your concept about saying yes and staying in the yes, I was like, yes, yes, you have to.

Kimberly (22:19.408)
And what better person, there's no better person than you to help women on that level because you're living it and then now you know it to share it. So, mm -hmm.

Michelle Margaret Marques (22:24.984)
thank you.

Michelle Margaret Marques (22:31.096)
Yeah, yeah. So it's and it was, you know, when you think about it is the perfect yes for me. I'm already helping women step into the identity that they need to be in to create the life that they want and build their businesses and their dreams. And then added on top of that is the opportunity to actually help them get the investment that they need also. Right. So it's a perfect combination of unknown.

Kimberly (22:54.606)
Right. Right.

Kimberly (22:59.95)
Yes, yes, yes, I know and you get to be privy to people's dreams and their callings. man.

Michelle Margaret Marques (23:00.92)
Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (23:06.744)
Yes.

It's so exciting. It's so exciting. And of course, I was already working with female founders. And then, of course, when I started to learn about it, I realized, I mean, I already knew in some kind of level that female founders don't get the opportunity for large funding a lot of the time. Enough, right? 2 .6 % of female founders actually receive funding as opposed to, I think it's, I can't remember the exact amount of male founders.

Kimberly (23:31.373)
Wow.

Kimberly (23:36.845)
Wow. Wow.

Michelle Margaret Marques (23:38.266)
So again, that space, you know, already working with female founders, it was just like, I mean, of course I can bring investment to anyone, but I choose to bring it to my female founders because that's my mission to help raise women up, to help. I want my actual mission is to impact one billion women on this planet. So, yeah. So it had to be women, right, Kimberly?

Kimberly (23:59.885)
Whoa, I love that. I love that.

you

Michelle Margaret Marques (24:10.008)
And just like you, I've found myself stepping into this financial, this investment banking world with so much ease and just learning all, and I have to say that the investment banks themselves are incredible. The team are incredible.

Kimberly (24:14.541)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Michelle Margaret Marques (24:25.336)
There's one member of staff that has coached me and helped me and mentored me all the way through. And I've just learned so much in such a short space of time. So again, that yes, that that saying yes to what's what you're called, what feels right for you is, my gosh, life changing.

Kimberly (24:43.924)
Thank you for giving such witness and you know when you when you shared I had a flash of Tina Turner and I recently watched her documentary or a story on her and when she left the relationship that wasn't working she had nothing right she had what a dollar sixty three or something like that she got herself into a hotel and to say yes to herself because she wasn't

At least what I got from the documentary, she wasn't saying no as much as she was saying yes. And she stepped into the unknown and the steps she needed, that must have been a very difficult transition as well. To be in a male -dominated industry, to be able to get the rights to keep her name, to find her way independently and to even do so healing from probably the ways her heart hurt.

Michelle Margaret Marques (25:33.688)
Yeah.

Kimberly (25:42.571)
from the disappointment around love. No, and having given our heart. And there's so much, there's so much, yes, great work Michelle.

Michelle Margaret Marques (25:45.08)
Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (25:51.512)
Thank you. I can honestly say that every single client, because one of my programs is all about stepping into the unknown and having the courage to, you know, go after the life that you truly want. And I can honestly say that every single client that I've ever worked with.

When you do find that courage to step into the unknown, your world opens up in so many ways that you could never, ever have imagined before. Would you say that is true, Kimberly?

Kimberly (26:23.497)
Yes, I do. And I would even compliment that by saying it's all already there. We don't have to reach for it. We don't have to grasp. We don't have to find it. We just need to be willing to let go and step into that unknown. And then it's like a coming home feeling, isn't it? Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (26:41.656)
It really is. Momentum just takes over and like you say, people show up, opportunities show up, resources show up. And it sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it? I'm sure there's listeners that say, well, that's all good for you, Michelle and Kimberly, you know, because you had opportunities to begin with or you had whatever. But it really is true that we all have that possibility inside of us.

Kimberly (27:10.537)
Yes, yes. And that I think is one of the ultimate discoveries when we come into wholeness, when we self -realize. We discover it's all within ourselves all the time. And that is the real discovery versus the dualistic. It's they had something special happen, that's not for me. And as human beings, we all do that very naturally. Look outward and, and,

get inspired by someone's story and think somehow, instead of thinking, instead of letting the stories let us rise into our greatness, the stories can sometimes leave a shrink back, well, you know, but not me. I can be the cheerleader on the sidelines. So yes, I love the way you're giving witness and opportunity for people to wake up to that reality. Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (28:06.136)
Thank you. What would you say to anyone right now listening Kimberly that is possibly feeling that way? Or let's take it from both ends. Who is feeling inspired now and thinks, right, you know, I'm going to take my opportunity to listen to myself and say yes to the yes that I need to say.

Kimberly (28:27.654)
So starting from there, if you're feeling inspired, if something's resonating with you, so if you feel joy in hearing Michelle's story or my story, if there's something that rises up within you, stop there and recognize that that resonance is happening because of who you are, not because of who we are. And ask yourself, how then can I open up?

to live from this place within me. Don't make an assumption that just because you feel inspired, you know how to do it. It comes from actually, I use this word tongue in cheek, humility, because humility's got a bad rap, but it comes from the actual rawness and vulnerability and humbly saying, how? In a new way? Like the Buddhist beginner mind, show me, show me. With open expectation.

So if you're feeling inspired, know that that is very real. And the more you stay with that and say, show me how, how do I stay with this and choose practices that help you inculcate and nurture that state, you will stay in it. And if you're somebody that's feeling hesitancy or doubt, let the hesitancy and doubt be

the way you go forward to try things. So instead of put yourself down saying, I need to not be doubtful, because all that does is force a reality you're having within yourself down. Acknowledge it, wow, I feel doubtful. I'd like to believe it, but I don't.

start to ask the questions, how could I explore if it could be true for me? Would it be a meditation practice? Would it be taking a course that helps me learn about this part of myself? Start to ask, how can I discover if it's true? So don't take it as true before assuming that it's not true.

Michelle Margaret Marques (30:39.224)
Hmm. I love that. I just love the way you explain things. It's just so... It just opens up my heart. It makes my mind just start to think on all these different levels. And I just love it. I could talk to you forever, Kimberly.

Kimberly (30:44.291)
Two things!

Kimberly (30:55.459)
I

Well, thank you. I welcome that. Let's keep the conversation going. It's...

Michelle Margaret Marques (31:04.056)
Absolutely, absolutely. my gosh. I want to ask you a question now that I like to ask everybody that comes on the podcast. What is the jaw dropping Bloody Hell Chelle moment that has challenged everything that you've ever believed in your life, but really ultimately has brought you to the path that you're on right now?

Kimberly (31:09.155)
Yes.

Kimberly (31:32.418)
There's been quite a few, just because of the mystic quality of my journey. When we realize we're mystics, because we all are, it's a quality of our being. But when we're living from that place, we have very dramatic wake -up moments. Illusions fall away in a dramatic way. We go through a major loss, but because our orientation is towards the deeper essence of things, it...

it leads to the draw dropping, it leads to the more dramatic awakenings. And I want to actually return to that, the five, six year old experience that I had. And when I had that experience with a leaf in nature, unknown to me at that point, I had gone through a really, I knew about my loss, but I didn't realize the loss was impelling the wake up experience.

So when I was three, I lost my grandma and I felt very, very, very, very close to her. I felt very awake in that relationship. And while I saw where she was going, I saw her light being and I saw her transition, I still had a really deep grief because here I was left on earth, you know? And then when I was four, I almost lost my mom. My mom went through some major health challenges and I thought I was losing her.

So I went through these losses that, unknown to me, got buried deep within. And when I had my experience, I was five or six, I was having this, I was taken up into this deep ecstasy and bliss. I was caught in the dance of nature. I was whirling in nature and I felt like all the world was dancing and I was dancing with it. And I was in this very deep, open place.

And then this leaf that had captivated my attention fell off a tree and it was so beautiful. But as it fell on, again, this is not in my mind, which I know if you're listening, you'll get it. It's not my mind as it fell and existential fear rose up in me. I mean, it crushed me. Is that it? Is that all life is about is dying? The leaf embodied that cause it broke off the tree. Now I didn't.

Kimberly (33:55.551)
know that it was really coming from the loss of my grandma and the almost loss of my mom, but they had impacted me and I was in a state that young of wondering what life was about, even though I wasn't thinking about it in my head. Well, because I was so innocent, I was able to allow the sadness to rise up and be fully sad. And the moment that happened,

Time seemed to stop and veils were pulled back and I had a direct experience that was the fruit I shared earlier. Everything is being and becoming in the divine. Everything, that all of life, that nothing is ever really dying in the end. And it washed me, Michelle, of any existential concern. I have never again had any fear around death, around what happens after we leave this body.

I may not have the answers, but I have no fears. Well, that was a dramatic experience. That for me, part of the takeaway is that I was so innocent, I was open to the experience. As adults, when we have these jaw -dropping experiences that are so hard, a lot of times we try to control them, or control our reality, or make sure we don't become unhinged, right? And like...

Michelle Margaret Marques (35:20.984)
Yeah.

Kimberly (35:21.885)
you know, like, because we're so scared of ourselves, my god, I could fly into a total rage and then there's a point of no return. And then, no. So, but all that fear separates us from that essential innocence. So fortunately, one of my big ones was when I was little and I was still innocent. I hadn't built up all those guards around my heart.

Michelle Margaret Marques (35:28.28)
Yes.

Michelle Margaret Marques (35:45.976)
yeah, I love that. Yes, I've experienced that for sure. That trying to keep control and trying to not be the Hulk.

Kimberly (35:51.836)
Yeah.

Kimberly (36:01.768)
You

Michelle Margaret Marques (36:04.536)
So how has that brought you to the path that you're on now?

Kimberly (36:09.852)
Well, it made my life very simple because coupled with that experience, and I think children have a lot of experiences that are similar, but sometimes they don't remember them. So I think all human beings are having experiences when we're innocent. I was so intellectually curious that what happened on the wake of that experience was I was like, I noticed, I'm like, this made me feel so happy.

This gives me a sense of meaning in life. This helps everything make sense. When I connected the dots using my mind, it harnessed all my energy towards all that. And I have never been able to get away from it. Even in moments when I'm like, what the? You're like, what did I give my yes to? You know? Like.

Michelle Margaret Marques (37:04.568)
It's not true. Every single time it happens, every single time that next layer, that next level, whatever you want to call it, there's always that you, there's no going back. You can't. Exactly. Once you have that insight, once you have that movement, that shift, that whatever we want to call it, transformation, it's impossible to go back. You can't not.

Kimberly (37:11.962)
I'm sorry.

Kimberly (37:18.906)
There's no going back, you can't, right? Because you're changed, right?

Kimberly (37:26.786)
You

Kimberly (37:32.666)
Thanks.

Michelle Margaret Marques (37:33.24)
move forward in that energy, right?

Kimberly (37:35.738)
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Michelle Margaret Marques (37:37.528)
I love that. I absolutely love that. I'm looking at the time. I honestly, I say this every week, Kimberly, I need to find a way to slow down time. These conversations go way too quick.

Kimberly (37:53.178)
You know, you're so smart to do a podcast. Each time I'm on a podcast, I'm like, a little holy envies there because you get to have these conversations with so many amazing individuals. Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (38:04.152)
Yes, I do. I do. And that is actually the reason I have this podcast, because I want to have fascinating conversations with incredible women. So this is the best way for me to do it. And hopefully that helps other people along the way.

Kimberly (38:15.766)
You

Kimberly (38:26.393)
I have no doubt that it does on unseen and unseen levels.

Michelle Margaret Marques (38:28.216)
It does. Yes, yes. I want to ask you one quick question before we finish up. What would you say the the let me see how I want to frame this question. It's just coming up for me now.

Right, I've got it. Would you say that there's an element of loving ourselves along the way as well as saying yes to the unknown as well as staying in the yes? What would you say the role of love for ourselves plays in that?

Kimberly (39:08.44)
I think that it's complex. We're able to say yes in as much as we love ourselves, whether we know it or not. And our saying yes helps us learn how to love ourselves too. So fundamentally, I think one of our biggest wounds is the wound of self -hate or self -judgment instead of self -love.

conditional, we give ourselves a conditional love and I would say that's probably one of the core wounds I see in human beings. And so we can't come to these yeses already so evolved that we love ourselves because we're a work in progress. But there's a way it works like the chicken and the egg, you know, learning how to love ourselves will open us to even know ourselves better so we say yes to what we're really meant to say yes to.

And as we say yes to what we're meant to say yes to, we learn how to love ourselves more. So that, I think, starts out as a practice and then becomes a knowing without practice.

Michelle Margaret Marques (40:19.256)
I love that! my gosh. That is such a beautiful way to wrap up this episode. Thank you so much for that. Kimberly, I ask every one of my guests if they would please give a free gift to my incredible listeners. Would you like to give a gift to them?

Kimberly (40:22.71)
You

Kimberly (40:31.702)
Thank you, Michelle.

Kimberly (40:41.782)
Yes, I could give, if I, can you send everybody a, one of my recorded meditations?

Michelle Margaret Marques (40:49.368)
I can certainly put it in the show notes. Yes.

Kimberly (40:51.894)
Okay, I can send you that link. It's a Google Drive folder, so I think if you download it, then you can upload it. Like you can do it that way. So you let me know if that's possible. I will send a heartbeat meditation to you all, because using the heartbeat lets us come into that deep place of center.

Michelle Margaret Marques (41:01.752)
Yes, I, yes, perfect. Perfect.

Michelle Margaret Marques (41:09.272)
Michelle Margaret Marques (41:13.752)
beautiful. Thank you so much, Kimberly. Yes, I will add that to the show notes so everyone can go and access that. Thank you so much for your time today. And to my lovely audience, please make sure that you go and listen to the episode. Well, you will have listened to it by now. What am I talking about? But make sure that you go into the show notes, get that information, go and download that and have...

Kimberly (41:23.542)
Thank you.

Kimberly (41:33.268)
Right.

Michelle Margaret Marques (41:42.136)
beautiful meditation and use it a lot. Use it every day for every all the years of your life I'm playing. Kimberly thank you so much for your time today I need to ask you and beg you to come back and do another one.

Kimberly (41:45.684)
Mm -hmm.

Kimberly (41:49.864)
Thank you.

Kimberly (42:00.052)
I would love to have more conversations with you, Michelle. You're deeply inspiring and you bring out, I'm sure you bring it out in all your guests, you bring out such a wealth and a value of wisdom and insight. So that's a reflection of you.

Michelle Margaret Marques (42:16.952)
thank you so much. I really appreciate that. listeners, thank you so much for joining me. I hope you join me on the next episode. You have been listening to Bloody Hell Shell with Michelle Marguerite Marquez and Kimberly Braun. I or you will hear me on the next one. Until then, take care.