Dress for Success: How Your Wardrobe Can Boost Your Business

Samantha Harman, also known as The Style Editor, helps women in business save time and make money using their wardrobe. She challenges the notion that personal style is not a business problem and emphasizes the importance of understanding the why behind what we wear. Samantha believes that what we wear is a physical manifestation of how we feel about ourselves and our beliefs. She encourages women to wear what they love and get rid of the clothes that don't make them feel good. By doing so, they can improve their confidence, personal brand, and ultimately achieve their goals.

Takeaways

Personal style is a business problem that affects women in the workplace. What we wear can impact our confidence, performance, and success.

Our wardrobe is a physical manifestation of how we feel about ourselves and our beliefs. It's important to uncover and challenge any negative stories or conditioning we have around our appearance.

Wearing what we love and getting rid of clothes that don't make us feel good can have a positive impact on our mindset, personal brand, and overall success.

Style is not just about the clothes; it's about mindset, beliefs, and identity. Shifting our mindset and beliefs can lead to a transformation in how we dress and present ourselves.

Personal style is a powerful tool for building a strong personal brand and attracting the right clients or opportunities.

Color and texture can add interest and depth to our outfits, and wearing something different from the norm can convey confidence and competence.

It's important to be true to ourselves and not seek validation from others when it comes to our style choices. Trusting our own feelings and opinions is key.

Working with a stylist can help us upgrade our style, shift our mindset, and align our wardrobe with our goals and aspirations.

Our wardrobe is an energetic and visual representation of ourselves. Choosing clothes that align with our desired energy and personal brand can have a positive impact on our success.

Personal style is not about conforming to societal norms or stereotypes. It's about expressing ourselves authentically and confidently.

Investing in our personal style is an investment in ourselves and our future. It can lead to personal and professional growth, increased confidence, and greater opportunities.

Sound Bites

"Getting dressed is one thing that everyone has to do every day and yet 99% of people don't really have any kind of clue or support on how to do it."
"What you wear is a business problem. So there, take that Barry."
"Wear what you love but also get rid of the stuff that doesn't make you feel good. Go into your wardrobe and the stuff that you don't love and you don't wear, it needs to go. It absolutely needs to go."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Samantha's Background
02:16 The Business Problem of Personal Style
07:02 Wear What You Love, Get Rid of What Doesn't Serve You
09:03 Size is Not a Barrier to Style
11:21 The Power of Mindset and Identity in Personal Style
20:29 The Impact of Color, Texture, and Unconventional Choices
22:19 Trusting Your Own Feelings and Opinions
25:54 The Transformation

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Transcript

Michelle Margaret Marques (00:01.141)
Here we are again on the Bloody Hell Chelle podcast. And let me tell you, well, you already know I'm going to say this. I am bloody excited to speak to this lady today because let me tell you, she is an absolute firecracker. I have been following her content. She is blunt, she is straightforward, and she is definitely right up my street. Samantha Harmon, thank you so much for joining me today. Oh, I...

Samantha Harman (00:30.193)
Thank you for having me. Amazing.

Michelle Margaret Marques (00:32.917)
Would you please like to introduce your extraordinary self to my listeners?

Samantha Harman (00:39.374)
Let me just beat myself up, try and temper my ego a little bit. Hello everyone, I am Samantha aka The Style Editor, which, oh, that sounds a bit, what is that? I help predominantly women in business to save time and make money using their wardrobe. So I was a newspaper editor, very male dominated, elitist environment. And I...

worked out a way essentially of using my wardrobe to create a personal brand and as I was doing that other women started asking me to help them do the same. So I thought hang on a minute there's a gap here no one is talking about what the hell we're supposed to wear to work. So I'm just going to be the delusional person that creates a business out of this which is what I've done.

Michelle Margaret Marques (01:32.833)
Fantastic, I love that. And your content is just so creative. I mean, what can I say? Creative, straightforward, tell it like it is. There's no nonsense, right?

Samantha Harman (01:47.058)
No, I find that with personal style, people don't necessarily equate how that is a business problem. Right? And most of the style content I see online is very much, here's five ways to wear this blouse, here's two things that I bought from Zara. That's not helping anyone. This isn't moving the needle in any way. What we need to do is actually help people to understand why this is a problem and

with a solution. Because getting dressed is one thing that everyone has to do every day and yet 99% of people don't really have any kind of clue or support on how to do it. We are conditioned to want to buy stuff but then we're told that talking about all of this is nonsense and silly and frivolous. It's just... make it make sense.

Michelle Margaret Marques (02:45.257)
Oh my gosh, and it's so true, right? We are, we're told like, you know, you should look this way or you should look that way or you should be wearing this professionally. You need to look that like, like whatever. But yet when we talk about it, it's like, oh, why are these women talking about this nonsense again?

Samantha Harman (03:04.886)
Yeah, that's a particularly on LinkedIn. So I do a lot of stuff on LinkedIn and particularly when I first started talking about it, I had all these men like coming onto my content saying, this isn't Facebook. I know it's not Facebook. This is a business problem, Barry, okay? This is affecting women at work because if someone feels terrible in what they're wearing today, they're gonna turn up to the meeting and whilst they're in the meeting, they're actually in their own heads saying,

Oh my God, you're terrible. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you're talking about. Everyone here thinks you're a fraud. They're looking at your stupid outfit. You should have lost weight. All of this internal stuff is going on, which then means that they don't do their best in the meeting. They're not asking for a pay rise. They're not going for the jobs that they deserve. And they're being held back. And so then we're almost gaslighting them into saying that it's silly to talk about. I just...

It is a business problem. What you wear is a business problem. So there, take that Barry. I don't know why I always kind of come up with this Barry or Brian. And I'm just always like having a go at this, this fictional character called Barry or Brian, who I don't, I don't know anyone called Barry or Brian. I apologize if that is your name.

Michelle Margaret Marques (04:24.603)
I'm just gonna say.

Samantha, you are hilarious. I tell you, I thoroughly enjoy your content. I have to say it makes me giggle. It's very relevant. It's very on the nose. It's very much my style for sure. Talking about style. Samantha, let me ask you this question though. What is the one piece of advice that you know today that would help women everywhere that you wish you had known when you are struggling with this problem?

Samantha Harman (04:56.894)
piece of advice. You know I just

Michelle Margaret Marques (04:59.422)
Or ten.

Samantha Harman (05:05.198)
Okay, I'm gonna say something that really brought all of this to mind for me as why I do what I do. I met a woman who was 85, she's in her 80s, and she said to me, I am 85 and yet I still am trying to lose this last 7 pounds. And I thought, and she still has a wardrobe full of clothes that she's not wearing at 85. And I just thought, wow. Like, really? Is this...

what we're heading towards. We have this one precious life and no one's even guaranteed to get to 85 years old. Like living to 85 is a privilege, but why wouldn't you wanna make the best of that every single day? Because you're gonna look back at yourself when you are 85 and think, bloody hell, what was I so worried about? And even now I look back at myself and I think the same sort of thing, but obviously I grew up in a society, as most of us do, that told me.

you are quote on literally quote fat and ugly right so that was then the story that I had the belief that I had was well I'm fat and ugly so therefore I don't deserve the promotion I deserve for you know relationships to be very one-sided and for people to treat me terribly all of this it's not just clothes it's your wardrobe is a physical manifestation of how you feel about yourself of your beliefs the things you've been told all of this and

it's really important to just uncover where those stories come from because most of the time they're not yours. So a long winded way of saying my advice would be wear what you love but also get rid of the stuff that doesn't make you feel good. Go into your wardrobe and the stuff that you don't love and you don't wear, it needs to go. It absolutely needs to go. Like now, like yesterday. Get rid of it.

Michelle Margaret Marques (07:02.601)
Hmm. Oh, I love that. Ah, yes. Yes. Oh my gosh I tell you what I used to be overweight and It was exactly that I would dress the way I wanted to dress, you know always covering up always looked very professional Always looked and seemed confident But really that was a complete front Every bit of that was a complete front

You know and people would say but Michelle you dress really nicely for your size or you're really pretty for your size and it's like oh yeah thank you for that like backhanded comment or compliment.

Samantha Harman (07:45.975)
Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (07:48.593)
I mean, really, truly, and I love dressing in all kinds of different ways that I would never have dressed before. Now, I have to say, I love having fun with color, and I know that you love having fun with color. You are very, very big on color, says the woman that's wearing black today.

Michelle Margaret Marques (08:10.361)
like oh my gosh Samantha's always very colourful. Today's the day I choose to wear black which is unusual for me I have to say but hey that's what I was feeling so what would you say to those people that feel you know they're a certain size or they feeling whatever about how they dress because I mean really we can dress whatever way we want right?

Samantha Harman (08:35.382)
Yeah, it makes me really sad when I hear women say, I'd love to work with you, but when I've lost weight, like in the future when I've lost weight. And if you're not careful, you're just gonna wish your whole life away. Many of my clients are actually what is categorized as plus size and their size is not a barrier to style. And I think that there is nothing more empowering to see than a woman who is.

against what society says is conventionally acceptable, just living her best life and being like, F this, I'm gonna wear what I want to wear. And those clients that I have, they're actually killing it in business. And in fact, some of them, people see them out and about and they'll message me. One of them's at a conference today and someone has messaged me today saying, I saw your client at this event and oh my God, she was a total vibe.

Michelle Margaret Marques (09:18.27)
Yeah.

Samantha Harman (09:31.99)
So actually we've been lied to that our size in any way dictates how stylish we can be or what we are able to achieve in life. And it's a lie that I brought into and unfortunately it's a big thing that the fashion industry is built on. Like I had experiences of going into shops and being laughed at. Being like, we don't carry your size here, we don't have anything for you kind of thing. Which is so insulting because women...

are the spenders, like we make the most spending decisions in our households and we are sold to, we're sold to not through empowerment but through disempowerment. No one's saying to us, do you know what, this will look amazing on you, wear this, you'll feel fabulous regardless of your size. What they're saying is, you're not good enough so you need to buy this product so that then you can fix all the things about you that we've told you are wrong with you, even though there's nothing actually wrong with you, we've just...

conditioned you to think that there is.

Michelle Margaret Marques (10:32.649)
Yeah. What was it? It is exhausting. It's draining. Absolutely draining. What was the mindset shift that happened for you? And what I actually let me change that question. What's the biggest mindset shift that you see in your clients happening?

Samantha Harman (10:35.278)
It's exhausting.

Samantha Harman (10:52.502)
that they can do whatever they want. So there's so much conditioning. In our wardrobes, my process very much is mindset beliefs and then the clothes. So the mindset business beliefs, that's the huge part of it. And then we're talking about the clothes, right? Because there is no point in me saying to someone, wear these clothes, okay, bye. That's not gonna fix, that's not gonna help them.

And I've had clients where they've worked with a stylist, they've spent a thousand pounds, put a thousand pounds worth of clothes on their credit card, a year later, they still haven't worn the clothes because it's identity. So the biggest shift is the identity piece. It's like, you've been holding off this version of you for such a long time, you can just, you get to be that person, you have permission. And one of the biggest struggles at first that I have with many of my clients is the whole permission piece. So they'll often...

send me a picture of an outfit and they'll say, does this look okay? And I will say back, why are you asking me, why are you asking for permission, does this look okay? What are you wanting to gain from asking me if this is okay? Because what matters is how you feel. So if you've put something on, you feel like a 10 out of 10, and then you're sending a picture of that to another person asking them if it's okay for you to feel that way. Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (12:20.181)
for validation.

Samantha Harman (12:21.814)
Because we're not used to being allowed to, I guess, feel really good in our clothes, or just feel really good in general as women in this society. So then it's almost like we have to get validation that that's okay for us to do. And then what happens if I say no? Or if they do it with their friends, right? They'll be in a changing room, we've all done it before, we put an outfit on and we think, oh my god, this is great.

And instead of thinking my opinion on this and my feelings on this are absolutely enough, doesn't matter what anyone else says, we send a picture of it to our friend and our friend is looking at us through the lens of her own self-perception. So if she says, no, I don't like that, she's saying, I don't like that on me, you know, it's not to my taste, but then it's ruined the whole outfit for you.

Michelle Margaret Marques (13:12.061)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh my gosh. And I love the fact that when you talk about the things that you do with your clients, it's not just about the clothes. I love the fact that you do the identity piece because of course that's what I do. I do identity shifting in my coaching.

And it is a big thing when that person realizes this is the person actually I want to be. This is the person that I get to show up as. And this is the energy I get to bring to the world. This is the me that I get to bring to the world and stepping into that now today. And then creating the structures. So that's like, you do that with the clothes, then creating the structures and the behavioral patterns and everything else around that. Because it's like people.

losing weight and you know this whole idea of buying something in a smaller size because oh that's my motivation to fit into it we've all done it I've done it before when I was losing weight and those things sit in the wardrobe and it just makes you feel worse because you're like oh I should be in that by now I bought that was my motivation that's what I promised myself and I haven't achieved it still

Samantha Harman (14:28.982)
Yeah, yeah, most people have a wardrobe full of clothes like that. Their wardrobes are places of disempowerment. I had a client, actually, last year, who had a wardrobe where it was between her bedroom and, like, the hall area in her house, and she would literally walk past it with her hand over her eyes because she just... because it was such an emotional... like, just this big emotional thing. And...

The thing is, when your wardrobe is in your bedroom, for most people it is, most people don't, are like me and have like crazy amount of clothes in my office. Ha ha ha. But I'm like, it's fine, it's my job, it's my job. My husband hates it when he has to work in here because there's like sequins everywhere. But when most people have that stuff in their bedroom, that's the place where your mind is most vulnerable. Right, you're asleep, it's your subconscious and there in this room with you is all of this stuff.

Michelle Margaret Marques (15:11.198)
Yeah.

Samantha Harman (15:26.798)
telling you that you're not good enough. What kind of energy do you think that's bringing into your life?

Michelle Margaret Marques (15:29.93)
Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (15:35.005)
Yeah, it's not helpful. Not helpful at all. So when you have a client, how do you get them to the other side of that?

Samantha Harman (15:37.067)
No.

Samantha Harman (15:45.538)
We start off with their beliefs. So the first thing that I get clients to do before we have our first session is something called the outfit diary, where for five to seven days, you don't change anything about your style, but you take a photo of your outfit and then you answer some questions. So how did I feel today? What did I do today? What did I notice I avoided? What negative thoughts did I notice that I have? What happened in my day?

so that you're kind of building up an idea of what it is that you would like to change. And actually the biggest shift could come at that point because a lot of my clients realize they don't have a full length mirror. So I'll say, take a picture of yourself in a full length mirror. They can't because they don't have a full length mirror. And then the realization is that they've kind of become, like they've become unattached from their own body. So they're just walking around as if they're like a head, right? Like just, they never look below that.

And that means that you're not embodied. If you're not actually in your body, how can you bring in the energy of the things that you want when you're just avoiding being in your own skin? So that's a big thing. And then from there, we do more stuff on mindset, but then we get actually into the wardrobe. So we look at what, you know, what don't you like about this? What do you like about this? And we shift.

gradually, generally, if I'm working with someone one to one, I'll work with them for a three month process and then I might continue working with them after that. But within those three months, we're just we're shifting their idea of what they can wear and what's possible for them. And it's almost like I have this vision in my head when I meet them of what, who they can, who they actually are and who they can be. And what I really love to do is

make that visual for them so they see it. So I make mood boards, look books, and at that point when they get the look book they're often like wow, like this is great, I never realise that is possible for me. So that's yeah, the best. I just love it. I just love it!

Michelle Margaret Marques (17:59.937)
Thank you.

And of course, I'm assuming that that's when you get to see the transformation start to blossom and the lights come on and the energy just erupts.

Samantha Harman (18:15.402)
Yes, it's awesome and it's amazing when they start to get, not the external feedback matters, but when people start to notice, when they say, you know, someone said to me, your vibes really changed lately, or they've got a client because someone has loved their energy. So I had a client the other day, who she made back her entire investment in one day, because the person wanted to work with her because of her energy. So that's ultimately, I won.

the clients that I work with, particularly, you know, they are women in business, to make more money because these are people who have good intentions for the world. And let's be honest, a lot of people who are in control at the moment with money, don't have good intentions for the world. So the more good money we can get in the hands of good people, the better stuff's going to happen. So that is my end goal focus. That's what I'm not, it's not necessarily that I'm focusing on this person's wardrobe right here now, it's what

can they, what is their potential to achieve in the next 10 years? What is their big goal that they're probably a bit too scared to even say? That usually comes from a place like, I had a bad childhood and I'd love to help more children who also are having a bad childhood or whatever. Like that big dream, that's what I want to help them ultimately create to bring into fruition. Cause I feel like they're here for a reason and that's the reason.

and their wardrobe is a piece of the puzzle in getting them there.

Michelle Margaret Marques (19:47.253)
Hmm. I love that. I have to just I have to just say that quote that you just said then more good money into the hands of good people. Oh, yes, please all day long.

Samantha Harman (20:01.206)
Yes, that's what we want. That's what we need. But more than ever, that is what the world needs.

Michelle Margaret Marques (20:09.981)
Yes, yeah, I totally agree. Oh my gosh. So is it safe to say, because this thought popped into my head as you were saying, Justin, is it safe to say that it really, when it comes down to the bottom line, has very little to do with the actual clothes?

Samantha Harman (20:29.23)
Yeah, it's about the mindset and beliefs, but it is about the clothes in the sense of upgrading the clothes, so upgrading someone's idea of what they are allowed to have. So what I will often find is that people have a kind of energetic set point of the type of place they will shop. So let's say for example someone's doing all right for themselves, but they've noticed that where they buy most of their clothes is on the supermarket shop because...

They've got three kids and they're in a rush and there's never any time for them. So just nipping around the supermarket and they're putting a dress in the basket. What that's telling me is that they are giving their style and themselves as much consideration as they're giving a tin of beans. So we need to change the, this, the set, the standard for them because when they are constantly saying, you know, I could never shop there, you know, designer could never go into that shop. What they're saying is I will never have.

the kind of money that would allow me to shop in those spaces. And then if you're saying that about those, you're saying that about everything that comes with that, like the home that you want, the money that you want, the finances that you want to support your children or your family or whatever it is that you want to do. If you're saying never, that's what you're holding away from yourself. So often it's closed in terms of...

Helping them to understand the energy of clothes, there's a lot of energy. And in fact, there was a study done on the energy of materials. So certain materials vibrate at a different frequency. And that is why almost, you know how most of the impression that we get of someone isn't actually what they say. We pick up on all of these visual and energetic cues about a person and it's that, it's helping them understand that.

Michelle Margaret Marques (22:19.921)
Wow, wow that's fascinating. Oh my gosh that makes me think of all kinds of questions.

Samantha Harman (22:28.797)
Like, let's lock in another three hours, it's gonna be a podcast special.

Michelle Margaret Marques (22:33.661)
Yeah, so podcast special, we're gonna go deep, deep. Oh my gosh. So dare I ask this question, Samantha, what would you say that I like would be a better style for me? I'm going to be very daring here. I mean, Baron, you don't really know me that well, but

Samantha Harman (22:35.63)
Yeah

Samantha Harman (22:50.382)
Cool.

Samantha Harman (22:53.818)
I think colour, I think you should be wearing more colour. So your colour actually is an ironic, right? Like you're wearing black. Colour really interestingly is aligned with our chakras. So what I will sometimes find is if someone is avoiding a particular colour, actually they may be disconnected from that part of their, you know, like the heart, or the heart centre, or the root chakra red.

Michelle Margaret Marques (23:16.976)
I'm going to sleep.

Samantha Harman (23:21.29)
Red is a color, I think red will look really great on you, just FYI.

Michelle Margaret Marques (23:24.661)
That does look good actually, I have to say I'll win that one.

Samantha Harman (23:29.659)
Red is a colour that's amazing and it's linked to the root chakra. So sometimes if people are avoiding particular colours it's because they are avoiding different parts of themselves. It's really interesting to look in someone's wardrobe and see that. Yeah, colour. Colour is the one.

Michelle Margaret Marques (23:51.157)
Interesting. And actually, I have to say, I do wear a lot of colour normally. That's why I'm surprised. Like today, I just decided black. If you look at all of my stuff, you will very rarely ever see me wear black. But today I chose this. I think it was the studs. I was going for the studs.

Samantha Harman (24:09.462)
Yeah, I do like that. The black is really good when it has that kind of texture to it. It just adds a bit of interest. If you're going to wear an all if you're going to wear an all black outfit, all one color outfit, switching up the textures of different parts of it just adds a lot of interest and depth. And it also helps you to be perceived as more competent. There is there's there was another study that showed that people who dress with a little bit of pizzazz.

we're seen as more competent in leadership. And I think it's because if you are able to do that, it shows a level of confidence. If you're able to like walk into a meeting and you're wearing something a little bit different to the norm, that shows that you're quite a confident person. So then that's perceived as being competent at your job.

Michelle Margaret Marques (24:48.135)
Yeah.

Michelle Margaret Marques (24:55.969)
Mmm.

Michelle Margaret Marques (25:00.174)
Interesting. Yeah, I must.

Samantha Harman (25:00.886)
which is how I ended up with an editor, as I don't have a clue. I just... it was all the clients, it wasn't me!

Michelle Margaret Marques (25:09.445)
And I have to say, when I was getting ready for this interview, I did, I chose this because I was like, oh, the studs, I love the studs on this. And this is a badass woman I'm going to speak to. So I'm going to put my badass studs on.

Samantha Harman (25:25.43)
I am, and we're like, no! I tell my clients I'm giving them a sound sermon, I'm like, okay, get ready, and then I would just go into it, and I'm like, that was another sermon for you there. Like I was saying to you before recording how one of my clients messaged me today, and she said, I was tempted to put on the gray hoodie, but then I imagined you slapping out of my hands. I was like, I would absolutely have slapped out of your hands, yes! That is not the big cheese energy that you are going for, no.

Michelle Margaret Marques (25:54.401)
No, not at all. Oh my gosh. Ah, I love this conversation. So let me ask you this, what would you say the number one thing that you've seen people really pivot and really been able to achieve after working with you?

Samantha Harman (26:13.134)
their businesses have, it, I don't know, a humble brag, their business has exploded, but it's about their personal brand. So for example, last year I worked with someone who is in the tech space and they said to me that they would like to get a promotion and by the end of our three months working together, they had got a

a promotion in a different company that had like a 20 grand pay rise and they'd done their first keynote and they're doing keynotes and stuff now which is amazing. Another one of my clients is becoming really well known in her industry. Ultimately, anyone, let's be like, there are thousands of stylists, there are thousands of copyrights, there are thousands of accountants, blah blah, you know. If you look at it that way, the industry is oversaturated. Any industry is quote unquote oversaturated. But people are paying you because they want to work with you. So...

it's about helping you really lean into what makes you because that's how you get the big ticket money because you know if you're if you're going after a generic service right if there's something wrong with i know oh my heaven forbid there's something wrong with my toilet that would just mean i don't know why i've come up with that but oh my god nightmare no i would just call any emergency plumber and be like please dave or susan or whoever you are just come and fix

Samantha Harman (27:38.958)
to fix this problem. But when you're working with someone in a service capacity and it's something as intimate as their wardrobe or their finances, or even their website copy because their business is their absolute baby, they want to know that you're the person who really gets them. And so you can do that through the power of your personal brand. That extends to...

what you say and how you say it but also your wardrobe.

Michelle Margaret Marques (28:11.089)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I 100% agree. You know, I'm often told that I have a tendency of putting people off.

working with me you know because I'm very blunt I'm very straightforward just like you and I my comment back to them is I'm not putting people off working with me at all because the people who like my style my brand of coaching my feel is coaching as I like to call it tell it like it is call you out on your BS you know like really well create transformations for people let's just

that but I'm not putting anyone off I'm attracting the people that are right for me and I'm right for them because our energy matches.

Samantha Harman (28:58.829)
Mm-hmm.

Samantha Harman (29:03.83)
just like snap fingers, snapping all over the place like, yes, that. And that's important because you don't wanna end up with the wrong client. I mean, we've all likely have a situation where you've had a client who is just, and it's always the person where you haven't trusted your gut and you've kind of like taken them on out of the goodness of your good girl conditioning or whatever it is that's made you do that. And it's always a mistake. The people that you really want to work with are the people who,

really want to work with you and I think there's a particular thing with women especially in business where it's like we're told oh you're so intimidating or you just you know and it actually am I intimidating or are you intimidated because there's a difference Stephen okay I don't know who these characters are I've just made up all these characters in my head that this is okay yeah

Michelle Margaret Marques (29:48.946)
and from the day feet.

Michelle Margaret Marques (29:55.953)
Look how you come up with these names, Barry, David, Stephen.

Samantha Harman (30:02.082)
There's a difference son, okay? Between being intimidating and you being intimidated and it's so easy. I see it, I've heard of, I actually posted about this the other day because it really got me. I've gone somewhere, I've met some women who are well known on social media and a few of the comments I had from other people were like, oh, what is she like? Because I don't think she's like, I just get a funny vibe from her or I just think she's really irritating or blah blah.

You don't know this woman and I don't hear the same rhetoric being said about men in the same position. It's always something about these women that seems to be irritating to us in a way that if a man was talking about how much money he made or what successes or all that stuff, no one's saying anything about this. No one's got a word to say apart from, oh, isn't he doing so well for himself?

Michelle Margaret Marques (30:57.461)
Yeah. But you know what they say though, right, Sam? They say that when we get irritated, when we complain and we get, for want of a better word, jealous of someone else, it's actually something we don't like about ourselves. It's not about them.

Samantha Harman (31:14.978)
Yeah, look in the mirror! It's just telling you, if there's someone that you're looking at and you're like, oh, I wish that I had what they have, that's just an indication to you to go and make that happen.

Michelle Margaret Marques (31:29.041)
Yeah. Yeah, I totally agree. Oh my goodness. Ah, we could honestly go on for hours and hours and hours. We could put the whole world to rights today.

Samantha Harman (31:39.273)
Exactly, thank you. I think we're in charge now.

Michelle Margaret Marques (31:44.641)
We're totally in charge, always. We always were. Oh, let me ask you this question, Samantha. What is the bloody hell Chelle, jaw-dropping moment that challenged everything that you believe, but really ultimately has put you on the path to where you are right now?

Samantha Harman (32:07.314)
Oh, you know what, I think probably when I was younger, I really wanted to be a journalist and I looked at magazines because I grew up on a council estate and we don't have any money and I was, as I said, told, you're fat Sam from the council estate, you're never amount to anything. And I would look at these magazines and I would think if I could just make it there,

then I would be accepted. So I ended up doing all of my journalism and stuff and I had to like, you know, do cleaning jobs and everything because journalism, elitists, they don't pay you to do internships. So I was like sleeping on friend sofas to do work at magazines and I managed to get a place on this prestigious magazine, right, Vogue House. I was like, oh my god, this is insane. And I realized that

Some of the conversations I heard there were just unbelievable. And I realized everyone here is just as insecure as I am. It's just built on insecurity. And I hate that. And I want to be the opposite of that. So for a long time then, I kind of thought, I'm gonna go into news journalism. I don't want anything to do with that. And I obviously built on my career in news journalism. But then I've realized that...

everyone's perception of a stylist is exactly what I witnessed and what I was kind of, I don't want to say victim to, but you know that very judgmental kind of, oh that's what you're wearing is it? Like that kind of thing. I hate that. I'm not here for it. And I very much want to be the opposite of that. So when people say to me, they have assumptions about a stylist and they'll say, oh, do you just like mess around with clothes? You just tell people what to wear?

I love to explain to them that yes, I understand where that stereotype comes from. I'm the opposite of that. That's not why I do. So that moment really did change everything. And then the reason I really started my business was because when I worked in newspapers, it was COVID and I ended up with burnout. And I, it was at the point where I like, I couldn't stop crying. It was just an emotional wreck. I couldn't stop crying. My eyes really hurt. My head really hurt.

Samantha Harman (34:23.23)
I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. And I went to the doctor, and the doctor is the kind of woman who don't take no shit either. And she said to me, if you carry on like this, you're gonna get very seriously ill. Is that what you want? And that was a moment where I thought, I've been sitting on this idea of this thing that I really want to do for all this time. And instead, what I've been doing is giving my health over to a company that doesn't actually care about me. Because when I told them that I was ill,

the suggestion was basically, well, we can get you a standing desk if you want. It wasn't, oh, let's just look at what is happening here with our people and why everyone's so ill. I just thought, no, this isn't it. And that was a moment where things changed. And obviously the pandemic, a lot of terrible things happened in the pandemic. But I do think that is the one good thing that came out of it was how many people sort of woke up and reflected on.

Hang on a minute, this isn't what I want to do with my life.

Why am I conforming to this? Go to work, go to school, get a good job. If you do a really, really good job and behave yourself, you be a good girl, then you'll get promoted. Even though you don't get promoted, the person who gets promoted is actually the person who's been really strategic, but you haven't done that because you've been told you have to just be a good, quiet little girl. No. You're like, oh God, sorry I asked that question. She's gone off the money again.

Michelle Margaret Marques (35:51.697)
No, I love it. I love your answers. I absolutely love and of course, this is what this podcast is for is to like get through all of that BS and really get to the heart of the raw conversations that we need to be having. We need to have these conversations, women especially, we need to have these conversations. But men, I am going to call you out right here because I do know that there are some of you that listen to me.

or at least pretend to anyway, I don't know.

Samantha Harman (36:22.398)
Who are these men, yeah? Who are these golden unicorns?

Michelle Margaret Marques (36:25.601)
Please man, you need to be listening to these conversations too, so I'm just calling that out, right?

Michelle Margaret Marques (36:36.074)
Can you believe that we're almost up to time? Samantha, ah! How dare the time just keep going by like this?

Samantha Harman (36:40.166)
No! How dare this happen!

Samantha Harman (36:47.507)
ORAGEOUS!

Michelle Margaret Marques (36:50.013)
We will definitely have to do another recording. Samantha, I gotta tell you, you are, honestly, I love your content, I love this conversation. I could talk to you forever. We should talk about doing something together, but I digress. We'll talk about that off the podcast. So.

My listeners, as they already know, I ask every one of my incredible guests if they would please give a free gift to my incredible listeners. And I know that you have very kindly said yes. Could you please tell my guests what that is?

Samantha Harman (37:25.334)
I do have a gift for you. It is a little training that I've put together on the five style shifts that I've had to make to get my business to where it is. So most people, when we think about business, we're thinking funnels and websites and all this kind of stuff. We're not really thinking strategically about how our wardrobe plays into that, but I am telling you, this is the magical thing that makes the difference. So I have a training for you. It's just me.

talking at you for an hour about all this stuff, giving you a bit of a kick up the backside, that if you are hoping to scale to six figures or 10k months or whatever your big dream is, I'm hoping that this is gonna really help you to do that.

Michelle Margaret Marques (38:11.585)
Mmm. Oh, thank you so much. And we will put that in the show notes, of course, like we always do. Oh, and I gotta tell you, I will definitely be claiming that free gift because I want to have that hour with you talking at me. Love how you put that. Just an hour of me talking at you.

Samantha Harman (38:27.574)
I'm talking at you, yeah. But I find those things really helpful. If I have a mentor or a training and I will listen to it when I go on a walk, I'll listen to it when I'm at the gym, and I find that every time you listen to it, you hear something different. Sometimes something doesn't land and then the next time you listen to it, you're like, whoa, that was a light bulb moment. So even if you just get one thing out of it, it's absolutely worth.

listening to and the kind of people that are going to listen to this podcast are the kind of people who are interested in their growth and development and ultimately, you know making the world a better place so Why not look fabulously stylish whilst you do that?

Michelle Margaret Marques (39:09.055)
Win-win!

Absolutely, win-win. Ah, Samantha, thank you so, so much for joining me today. I cannot wait to revisit another conversation with you in the future, and of course, have a conversation about what we might put together. Yeah, so listeners, look out for that. You know, I'm always having these conversations and coming up with some.

up with something. Oh my goodness. Samantha, thank you so much for being on the Bloody Hell Shell podcast. Listeners, I will see you or well, you'll hear me in the next episode. Thank you so much.